Almost 2 years later ......

Almost 2 years later ....... after you walked through the door.  Boy, you walked out enough times :-)  And walked right back enough times as well.

So in 2 years, we have had some arguments, we have had some "getting into my little blue car and leaving" and we have had " let's do something fun together".

No shouting in anger, just talking it out.  That is how we have done it, and how we will continue doing it.  At the peak of our "adjusting time", we took a bit of time out, cooled the heels and started again.

2 Magnets, pulled together by forces, and now, love holding us together.  In 2 years, we have moved home, changed jobs, gone through some really yukkie financial oopsies, but yet, we have always recovered, always kept the bond between us strong and solid.

I am the short tempered one, you are the quiet one.  You are the hard headed one, and me?  Sometimes ....... lol.  Why argue over something arbitrary?  It is much easier to let something be, and wait till it sorts itself out.

When me me, I knew, somehow, that together, we would have a quiet, peaceful life together.  A relationship filled with mutual respect, sharing the same values, sharing the same interests.

And I was not wrong, for here we are, still together.  The only difference now, the respect we had, has grown into love.  We have a fulfilling relationship, emotionally and physically.  When people said it will never last, we worked on what we had, and built it into what we wanted.  And very few people have what have, although all want it.

I love you Babe.  You are all and more that I want.  You complete me in all ways.  

Thank you for being the one, for being who you are.  You are amazing, special, the best part of my every day.

Angel Bubbler ..... you are now 5 and started big school.

I wish I could grab the hands of time, and keep them still.  For the days slip by, it seems the world is left behind in the shadows of your movement, almost as if you are growing to fast.

I look at you, and see the absolute joy that only a child can experience when the new day breaks.  I listen to mommy telling me about all the funny little things you do, the new things that are now part of your day.  And it makes an old heart happy, knowing that this little peace of my legacy is growing into an independent little human being, that this small part of what makes me human, is also in this little miracle called Angel Bubbler.

From the time mommy told me she is pregnant, I was overjoyed knowing that such a special little person would be entering our world.  I knew, without a doubt, that you would become the chosen one that the universe hand selected, just for us.

The first four years has gone by in a flurry of things you did, things you said, things you have discovered from the people that shape your life.  The same people that will continue shaping your life for a very long time to come still.

And now, now you are 5, and I am 50.  I look at you my Angel Bubbler, in wonder and total amazement that something so small, so fragile, has such a huge impact on our life, every day in every way.  You are now to small to realize just how important you are, but one day, you will understand, just as you mommy understood when the time was right.

If I could wish for a life for you, I would not wish for money, nor would I wish for beauty.  I would wish that you have abundance happiness in your life, that you love, in abundance, I would wish for health, for a long life for you Angel Bubbler.  I would wish that you never have to feel the pain of a broken heart, neither the hurt of rejection.

But this is unrealistic, for there will be a few that breaks your heart, and maybe a few that will reject you.  It is called life.  You just need to remember, that if the wrong people do not cross your life, how would you ever be able to appreciate the right people, when they enter your circle of life?

I love you with every breath I take my little Angel Bubbler, and I will till the day I stop existing.  And when my time has come, the chain around Ouma's neck, with all the charms that you love so much, will be yours, along with the charm bracelet, which by that time, will be full of  life's little memory charms.  And every time you look at it, and touch it, you will know that your Ouma is there, not in body, but in spirit.

Love you my little baby girl. Just love you.

Tonight, tears visited my eyes,

     I wish you where here to dry them.

Tonight, I feel so lonely,

     I wish I could spend it with you.

Tonight I looked at the stars,

     I wish I was counting them with you. 

Today I realised what you really mean to me.

     Tonight I whispered I love you.

    

I wish you heard and said

     "I love you too".

I wish I could see you,

     I wish I could touch you,

     I wish I could hug you,

     I wish, I wish, I wish.

Amongst all, I wish I could see you smile.

     which is worth a million wishes come true.

Your presence in my life .....

You walked through the door,
       and your presence filled my home.
You walk out the door,
        and my home feels empty.

Please walk through the door often,
         and fill my life with your presence. 

***************************************

You keep walking through the door.
You are a presence in my life.
I love having you in my life.
You make me smile.  
You make me happy.

You don't crowd my life, as I don't crowd yours.
You allow me to be me.

You are an amazing person,
I am blessed to be part of your life.

Almost 4 You Are ...

Little Angen Bubbner,

December 2012, you will be 4 years old.  How very fast the time has passed, and how very quickly you have grown.  I have watched you in the last 7 months, and in front of my eyes, a little princess is growing into a future queen.

Your eyes tht can dance with being so naughty, but I want you to be naughty, for that means you are a healthy little one.  When those eyes light up, and I can see what you are planning to do, my heart melts, and this ouma encourages all things.

Your smile, so wide and so bright.  Even the sun's glare pales in comparison.  You have your ouma's heart in the palm of that little hand. 

If I can "place an order" for your future my little baby girl, I would order a future for you filled with only good things in life.  I would order a world filled with laughter, with sunshine, with happiness. 

I would ask that your heart never experience pain, that your life never experience loss.  Health to see you through your life until your life is spent here.  I would order a husband for you that will treat you like the princess you are.

To this ouma, there is no greater love than the love I see in your eyes, when you say "Ouma, I nove you nots".  Ouma knows you cannot say the letter l, and it is so endearing to hear you say those words.  To see your little hand hold your heart.  I love you Julie-Ann.

Lemons and life ......

The saying goes: "When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade" ....


mmmm ... A rather bold statement, when you have just heard that oh so many moons ago, when a teenage heart was so very easy to break, the "love" of your entire being, was sent away by "well"? meaning parents ... and when you thought that your fragile little heart was going to break, that you will never learn to love again, you get "shipped" away to bording school ....


And now, it has been, (quick calculation) roughly about 30 years ... and hey, one super day, here you find that same "love" on the internet ...


Only now, years have passed ... and I MEAN years .... And what crosses my mind?  You gotta be kidding me about this guy.  This was the guy that I thought my life revolved around?  What the hell was I thinking?  Do I now start making lemonade? ROFLMA ....


And all of this, is very much tongue in the cheek ... for all the lemons that I had received, I made plenty lemonade ... and the lemons that are still to come ... there is still plenty lemonade to be made tooooo ....

Becoming a granny!

Yeah, you guessed it right! I have become a granny .... but lets start at the beginning.


I always said to my daughter to oh please not make a granny of me before I was 40 ... and after I turned 40? I asked her ever so often when I was going to become a granny.

Patience paid off,  Waiting for 9 months to welcome little baby into the world ... and before my 44th birthday, a little girl was born. I was so over the moon with happiness at this little wonder that joined the family.

Rickey and Gareth named her Julie-Ann. My heart was bursting, just thinking about this little girl that was born in her own bedroom, in a water birth pool. The first little gurgle that she made after birth sounded like she was happy to finally meet mom and dad. No tears, no screaming. Just a little gurgle that sounded like a giggle.

A very tired Rickey shortly after the birth took the role of mommy as if she was born to be a mom. Long nights peeped at both her and Gareth, and not to forget little Julie-Ann. Her precious life had just begun. Do all granny's wonder if their child is mature enough to become a parent? I did, and Rickey proved that not only was she mature enough, she was brilliant at being a mom.


Now, lil Bug is a year old, and once again, I am amazed at how quickly the time had passed for all of us. In a short period of 12 months, Bug has grown from a tiny little baby into an amazing one year old!

How I wish that I could be around her more often ... How I miss her and Rickey ... But when I am around, I make the most the time I have with them.

Lil Bug ....